chubbybloodfart

Born in 1967, chubbybloodfart was abandoned by his parents on a shopping trip and raised by English Bull Terriers in the hills of Sandy Bay, Tasmania. At the age of 13 he was deported to Kawana Waters, QLD after suspicions of involvement with Persons of Taste and Discernment.  After completing his PHD in psychonautics, Chubby embarked on extensive careers in the Military, Power Distribution, Arboriculture, Hospitality, Plantation Softwood, Surfboard Shaping, Phlebology, Solar Energy, Education, Long Haul Transport and Pre Fab Kitchen industries.
He is currently a Full Time Wastrel and Drifter and occasionally freelances as a Warrior Poet.
In 2009 he married eminent Philanthropist, Beauty Queen and Alleged Axe Murderer Edna Focke-Witte. They now have a two year old Bull Terrier of their own.
Chubby has recently completed a circumnavigatory tour of Australia killing biting insects and looking at stuff.
He hopes to one day rob a bank.

2 Responses to chubbybloodfart

  1. Hello!

    While I am a huge fan of your comment work, if you ever have the desire to right a stand alone piece for t’ Rant please feel free.

    The pay is crap, and there are no deadlines so to speak.

    (When I said the pay is crap I MEAN the pay is crap. Third world level crap) if you are interested please shoot me an email if not, please comment at will if you see anything interesting on the site.

    Cheers.

    • moar caek says:

      Mr Dhabalist!

      I ‘d dearly love to. Third world wages are quite alright with me; my last bag of UN rice turned out to be full of AK47 bullets which were actually quite lucrative when sold as scrap brass, and since I live in Adelaide, One can never have too many portable ceramic water filters. (Please note: I would rather not be paid in counterfeit anti-biotics as local bikies have become hip to the fact that they are not MDMA and my cover story that they are actually counterfeit MDMA is going to fall over as soon as they realise what counterfeit means.)

      I do wonder if the tone of my stylings is appropriate for public display in the context of a formal post? I worry that scrutiny may reveal my work to simply be a facaetious melange of Bill Hicks, Alexei Sayle, Irvine Welsh, Encyclopaedia Dramatica and the Church of the Subgenius. More “inchoate” than indignant. I suffer from some sort of impetus defecit. I need some sort of prod to get rolling – a hook to hang my rant on, if you will – hence the prolific contributio to various comments sections and the dearth of original content on my own blog. I tell myself sometimes that my talents are more of an editorial bent, but in truth they are more letters-to-the-editor-ial. Anything I try to write with any gravitas just comes off as pompous, and I have no idea how to use a comma properly. Fine with apostrophes though. Superfluous Apostrophàge is a rant in itself (though a doubtless well worn rut elsewhere), but one can’t attack another’s grammar with commas thrown about the landscape like so many rusted tank bodies can One? I tend to mask this with other more deliberate grammatical anomalies, which looks fine in a comments thread, but is hardly the stuff of serious essayistics?

      That being said, I love writing and I love ranting. I have some rants in mind along the lines of how my six month old baby is smarter than christians, why developed nations should drop the Noblesse Oblige and leave african warlords to get on with what they have always done, and the Toyota “FJ Cruiser” as a metaphor for humanity’s manifest destiny as an evolutionary dead end with special reference to Phaedrus’ observations on the nature of Quality as novelised by Robert M. Pirsig. If I do manage to push them through the wordpress colander you are most welcome to appropriate to Indignant Rant at will. Time Poverty tends to be a barrier, exacerbated by poor time management, for example; right now I should be writing an essay on the neccesity for international co-operation in combatting climate change, mowing the lawns, carving a whole rib-eye into steaks, servicing the Land Rover, building a new PC and planting some onions and potatoes and finding the leak around the chimney flue Bugger. I just remembered I have to Prune the Hibiscus and the Privet Hedge too. Instead I’m tooling around on the web and researching Jissouseki for a blog piece I probably won’t publish. I wasted a lot of time staring at the baby and going out for cigarettes too. I can’t believe I still smoke.

      I also tend to digress a lot. And talk about myself.

      Kudos to you btw for an excellent blog idea. Meta-Rant is a splendid concept. If you and other contributors are happy for me to continue as I have, then I shall until such time as I can put something more coherent together.

      I remain envious of your abilities.

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